The Proposal (2009)

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Ryan Reynolds, Craig T. Nelson

I liked this movie. I don't know why I liked this movie, but I liked this movie.

Rating: 6

No End In Sight (2007)

Directed By: Charles Ferguson

As of 2009, the anti-Iraq sentiment in this nation has grown redundant. There are only so many ways one can hint that George W. Bush is Satan's representation on Earth. With that being said, I was pleasantly surprised to view the mostly high road taken by the documentary No End In Sight.

Rather than reading the Patriot Act from an ice cream truck, No End In Sight offers a different approach to the anti-Iraq movement. The most unique aspect of the film is it's emphasis on using accounts from those directly involved in the planning of the occupied Iraq. Far more effort is placed in blaming those who made direct decisions, which led to failure.

No End In Sight is the perfect documentary for the non-partisan cinema-goer.

Rating: 8

Imagine That (2009)

Starring: Eddie Murphy, Thomas Hayden Church, Martin Sheen

I loved Eddie Murphy's last two offerings, Norbit and Meet Dave. My love of those films may make me the ultimate Eddie Murphy apologist, yet no amount of love could save Eddie Murphy from my fiery wrath toward Imagine That.

This is simply a family movie that fails on all cylinders. Thomas Hayden Church should be doing much better than the nonsense role he took in this.

Writer's Note: MARSHALL FROM UNDECLARED WAS IN THIS!

Rating: 1

Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets (2002)

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson

My delayed posting for Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets has hindered my ability to fairly write about it. Ultimately HPATCOS is an easy popcorn movie. It is similar to it's predecessor, with the only downgrade being a longer run time (ALMOST 3 HOURS!) My liking of this movie is purely a result of it's necessity. It's necessity being the build it provides for the subsequent/way more awesomer Harry Potter films.

Rating: 6

Slap Shot (1977)

Starring: Paul Newman

This post will be especially short. I could not possibly capture my feelings for this classic in a single post. This movie is funny, dirty, and endearing. From the opening scene, I was thrust into the world of minor league hockey. By the closing credits, the I wished I could stay in their world. Paul Newman displays just how versatile an actor he is with this off-color role.

SEE THIS MOVIE

Rating: 10

My Life In Ruins (2009)

Starring: Nia Vardalos, Richard Dreyfuss, Rachel Dratch

Seven years have passed since America warmly embraced Nia Vardalos and her breakout hit movie My Big Fat Greek Wedding. In those seven years, Vardalos only starred in one notable film ( 2004's ill-received Connie and Carla). After the failure of Vardalos's 2004 effort, it seems producers brushed up on their mathematics, and determined Nia Vardalos + Anything Greek = Sweet, Sweet Moolah.
Since I had never seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, my anticipation for My Life In Ruins was lukewarm at best. Unfortunately the film fails to deliver on my lukewarm hype. In the film, Nia Vardalos plays a woman named Georgia. Georgia fled to Greece after a failed relationship, and is stuck as a tour guide; hating every minute of it. The plot was ultimately put on the backburner, as I continually focused on my main question for the film: "What the F is Richard Dreyfuss doing in this movie?"
About ten minutes into the film, I would of wagered my life savings on Georgia finding unexpected love, and realizing her job and life is what she makes of it. If anyone in the theater took me up on this bet, I would of been a rich man. Some giggle relief is found through many supporting characters, including Harland Williams and Rachel Dratch! The film is also a meager 90 minutes, so it is never a struggle to get through.

Rating: 3

Hamlet (1996)

Starring: Kenneth Branagh, Julie Christie, Kate Winslet

When Barack Obama saw a United States of America on the edge of a fiery pit, he did not stop himself because the task was too large. He simply tackled the task head on and achieved more success for this country in 6 months than any president ever...combined.

Mr. Jack Walker and myself had a similar situation on our hands. We discovered that only 2 mainstream American films run over the 4 hour mark. We saw two treacherous mountains in our path to glory. Rather than hide in fear, we took the first mountain head on. As it was on a glorious Friday night, Mr. Jack Walker and I sat through 4 hours and 2 minutes of Shakespearean bliss in the form of Hamlet.

Overall the film was well done. Compared to the 1990 Mel Gibson version (dir. Franco Zeffirelli) this version used the same dark context, and placed it in a much brighter, visually pleasing aesthetic. (Writer's note: 1st use of aesthetic in this blog). Furthermore, Billy Crystal and Robin Williams make strong cameos in the film.

The main talking point for this movie is it's incredible length. Kenneth Branagh may have been overly ambitious to think an unabridged version of Hamlet would work on film. My main complaint is that the text clearly works for a play and not the fast paced world of cinema. When the characters use exquisitely worded, long winded monologues, and descriptions, it made me yearn for simple lines. Instead of the "To be or not to be" speech, I had wished Hamlet would simply say something along the lines of "I'm sad, I might kill myself."

Teapot and myself deserve many congratulations for sitting through this epic.

Rating: 5

Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone (2001)

Starring: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson

I have begun watching the Harry Potter series to prepare for the series' 6th installment coming shortly. I do not have anything funny or witty to say about this film. It was a fun, big budget family film. I have heard the newer ones are infinitely better so only time will truly judge this chapter.

P.S. After watching this film, Roger Ebert stated that Emma Watson is a babe in training. Kind of creepy.

Rating: 6

Prom Night (2008)

Starring: Brittany Snow, Jonathan Schaech, Idris Elba

Prom Night Facts

1) Idris Elba on television > Idris Elba on film

2) Jimmy Mattingly clearly has gone off the deep end since singing for The Wonders

3) Horror can work as a PG-13 movie with a compelling story.

4) Prom Night did not have a compelling story.

5) Black teenagers want to have sex on prom night...badly.

Rating: 3

I.Q. (1994)

Starring : Tim Robbins, Meg Ryan, Walter Matthau

Random Observations of I.Q.

1) Walter Matthau took about 10 seconds to research Albert Einstein for his role.

2) Meg Ryan's career was clearly almost over by this film.

2a) Her career has apparantley been almost over for 15 years.

It is this writer's opinion that any film combining Albert Einstein, historical fiction, and a love story is doomed for failure. I.Q. certainly proves my opinion correct. The film is remarkably forgettable throughout its entire 100 minute running time.

Despite the train-wreck amalgamation, I.Q. gives itself the potential to succeed by placing a gripping love story at its core. Unfortunately the film, also failed to provide a gripping love story . Moreover, Tim Robbins and Meg Ryan have the chemistry of a couple only mildly interested in each other.

Rating: 2

Slackers (2002)

Starring: Devon Sawa, Jason Schwartzman, Jason Segel, Michael Maronna

As many of you already know, if film genres were a full meal, dumb teen comedies would be my bread and butter. With that being said, it is no surprise I was nothing but excited to see this film. A simple plot, R rating, Jason Segel, and Jason Schwartzman were guaranteed comedic gold. Then there's the brilliant casting of BIG PETE WRIGLEY! How could I not be jazzed?

The problem with the movie simply comes down to a poor script. I had zero problem with the story. The plot was simple and lent itself to many comedic offerings. The major problem was somewhere in the writing process, someone forgot to add jokes.

Luckily, the film is almost saved by talented actors. Jason Segel and Jason Schwartzman bring out as many laughs as possible, with the little they're given. Some of the Jason Schwartzman musical sequences are laugh out loud funny. Michael Maronna is fine in his role, but seeing Big Pete Wrigley's penis sing was just too difficult to handle, and ruined the character for me. Furthermore, Devon Sawa is awful. Nothing more or less than plain awful.

Rating: 4

2009 Top 10 (As Of 6/7/09)

1) Up

2) Star Trek

3) Adventureland

4) Tyson

5) Two Lovers

6) Duplicity

7) Anvil! The Story Of Anvil

8) The Watchmen

9) The Last House On The Left

10) Observe And Report

Booty Call (1997)

Starring: Jamie Foxx, Tommy Davidson, Vivica A. Fox

While Booty Call is not the film to get this blog started with a thunderous start, my review will at least be short and to the point.

This film sucked!

The film begins with two young African-American bachelors (Foxx, and Davidson) discussing their big double date later in the night. I know most of you are thinking that in Obama's post racial America, I need not mention the race of these young men. However, within the first 5 minutes, I realized I am going to need a translator to understand the dialogue. The jive speaking old lady from Airplane! would of been perfect.

The movie basically just progresses into the 2 couples going at it for the remainder of the movie. Throughout the film's entirety, my friend Jack repeatedly stated "Jamie Foxx won an Oscar." Those 5 words say more about the film than any review ever could.

Rating: 0

Mission Statement

After several failed forays into the blogging universe, I return focused.  Now you may be asking, what separates this attempt from the past lousy attempts?  The answer is simply I need a written record.  I am currently undertaking two film related ventures, and have deemed it necessary to document my journeys.  To explain:

1) 2009 Film Contest

It has become my understanding that every group of friends has the "movie buff."  If you happen to be friends with myself or my friends, the word "movie buff" takes on a whole new meaning.  Out of a realization that not many people we know see as many films as we do, my friends Jack, Sam and I decided to put our nerdy prowess to the ultimate test.  We declared a contest to determine who can see the most films in the movie theaters for the year 2009.

Sadly, I begin this blog in June, already 5+ months into the contest.  As the standings fare now, I have seen 81 films in theaters this year, yet find myself in 3rd place (Sad, I know).  All onlookers can only gasp in horror as they see my young life vanish in dark obscure art house theaters, while they can do nothing but look on helplessly.

For those curious, here are the rules to this competition.

1. Box Office Mojo is the bible for the contest.  If the movie is on the website with a 2009 release date, it is a countable movie.

2.  If a 2009 release is not on Box Office Mojo, substantial proof of the film's release date must be provided

3.  All matters regarding movie validation will ultimately be voted on, if necessary.

4.  All competitors must arrive at the film they are viewing before the first reel ends (approx. 15 minutes in).

5.  No walk-outs allowed.

6.  15 minutes of break time are allowed for various reasons, e.g. bathroom, important phone call, etc.

7.  Honesty is the best policy.

2)  Ultimate Movie Glory

In addition to the 2009 film contest, I am also in a personal quest of film fulfillment.  My friend Jack and I are individually attempting to see every film ever.  The rules for this saga are currently not in existence due to the large number of potential problems and situations that are sure to arise as we follow our respective paths.  For me personally, the one rule I am enforcing is in order for me to count a movie, I must be able to discuss the beginning, middle, and end of a film, in order to ensure I have a general idea of what each film is about.

I hope everyone enjoys following me on this grand endeavor, or at the very least, using this as a free movie guide!

Thanks,

Mike