Friday, May 28, 2010

MacGruber (2010)


Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe
Director: Jorma Taccone

Thoughts On MacGruber
  1. Holy shit, it will be almost impossible for any film this year to be funnier than this one.
  2. The fact that no one is seeing this movie is criminal. Shame on you America.
  3. Despite how funny this was, I still don't like the sketch.
  4. Reese Witherspoon = One of Hollywood's top leading ladies. Ryan Phillippe = Puts a celery stalk up his ass in the film MacGruber. Now THAT is what you call a rough divorce.
  5. MacGruber features two of my all time favorite comedic sex scenes.
  6. Mike's Note: 6 WWE wrestlers featured in this film in no way affected the overall lovefest I am currently throwing.
  7. Val Kilmer. In on the joke or not? You decide!
Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - Support great comedy. See MacGruber.

Robin Hood (2010)


Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Matthew Macfadyen
Director: Ridley Scott

4 Thoughts On Robin Hood
  1. A decent, modern upgrade to the Robin Hood story.
  2. Russell Crowe got a cool 20 million but I didn't see 20 million dollars worth of effort. I'm so funny.
  3. A little too long and drawn out for my taste.
  4. I felt like I had seen all the battle scenes before.
Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Extremely difficult movie to rate. Went safe with the 5.

Changeling (2008)


Starring: Angelina Jolie, Jeffrey Donovan, John Malkovich
Director: Clint Eastwood

5 Thoughts On Changeling
  1. Another excellent Eastwood offering.
  2. The main problem of the film is many directors (not just Clint) tend to get lazy in their directing when they know their story is naturally compelling.
  3. Easily could of been a 2 hour movie. It's 2 and a half hours in case you did not know.
  4. Kind of cool seeing John Malkovich as the good guy.
  5. I thought Angelina was solid, not extraordinary.
Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Clint Eastwood may officially be my right wing Woody Allen.

Marley & Me (2008)


Starring: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Eric Dane
Director: David Frankel

4 Thoughts On Marley & Me
  1. For a family blockbuster, it wasn't half bad.
  2. Seeing Don Roos as one of the writers led me to believe this film would be slightly above average. I was correct.
  3. Wilson and Aniston's characters were just terrible dog owners.
  4. This emotionally moving film failed to emotionally move me.
  5. Sam Barron loves dogs.
Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
10 points - It's a movie about dogs!
-4 points - Sam Barron loves dogs.

Rocky II (1979)


Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young
Director: Sylvester Stallone

3 Thoughts On Rocky II
  1. This film is generally dismissed amongst fans, but I found it to be a very worthy sequel.
  2. I would go into more detail, but I am literally the last person on Earth to watch the "Rocky" series.
  3. Oh yeah, and Adrian kind of annoys me.
Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Italian stereotypes gone wild.
4 points - Gonna Fly Now

Flash Of Genius (2008)


Starring: Greg Kinnear, Lauren Graham, Dermot Mulroney
Director: Marc Abraham

1 Thought On Flash Of Genius
  1. A movie about a windshield wiper. The End.
Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
10 points - If you love windshield wipers! (5 if you only appreciate them)

Monday, May 17, 2010

Chloe (2010)


Starring: Julianne Moore, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried
Director: Atom Egoyan

6 Thoughts On Chloe
  1. Before I talk about Chloe, I must state that Julianne Moore has square nipples. Thank you.
  2. I think there was a subtle hint of melodrama thrown in here, but what do I know?
  3. I liked it a lot, but it may be for Egoyan fans only.
  4. Liam Neeson goes 0-60 way too quickly in several key scenes.
  5. If you don't like Atom Egoyan, see this for the big Moore/Seyfried scene. I'm not into girl on girl, but if you are...
  6. Julianne Moore is still top 5 on my female celebrity list.
Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - Would of been higher, but I figured too many things out as the movie progressed.

Iron Man 2 (2010)


Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle
Director: Jon Favreau

8 Thoughts On Iron Man 2
  1. If you forget the original Iron Man ever existed, Iron Man 2 is one phenomenal superhero action film.
  2. If for some reason you don't have short-term memory loss, Iron Man 2 simply can not live up to its predecessor.
  3. I love Don Cheadle, but I hate replacing actors mid-franchise. Side note, I love Terrence Howard more. (Whoop That Trick!)
  4. Scarlett Johansson did not need to be in this movie.
  5. Mickey Rourke should just stick to the only thing he was ever great in; pretending to be a pro-wrestler.
  6. Robert Downey Jr. could star in a remake of Gigli and it would seem decent.
  7. I know I've said this in every movie starring RDJ, but man cocaine is a hell of a drug.
  8. Stay for the credits. I did, and had to look up what the reference was!
Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Everyone is going to see this so it doesn't really matter.

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show (2008)


Starring: Ahmed Ahmed, Sean Fitzgerald, Peter Billingsley
Director: Ari Sandel

3 Thoughts On Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show
  1. Not really all that "all-access," but at least most of the standup is funny.
  2. Justin Long just seems like he would be super nice in person. A friend has confirmed this.
  3. I wish they would of showed more Vince Vaughn improv. It seemed funnier than any of his latest movies.
Rating: 6
6 points - I had some fun.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)


Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara
Director: Samuel Bayer

3 Thoughts On A Nightmare On Elm Street
  1. Middle of the road slasher film. Worth the money at a bargain theater.
  2. Jackie Earle Haley deserves all of his success.
  3. The new Freddy Krueger looks too rat-like.
Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - I love bargain Tuesdays

Four Christmases (2008)


Starring: Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall
Director: Seth Gordon

4 Thoughts On Four Christmases
  1. First Christmas: The best one. Jon Favreau > Vince Vaughn
  2. Second Christmas: Bad. Nothing about Reese Witherspoon appeals to me.
  3. Third Christmas: Bad. No comment.
  4. Fourth Christmas: Bad. Vince Vaughn is just getting stale, but unfortunately successful movies such as this are essential to his staying power.
Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
1 point - Christmas
1 point - Christmas
1 point - Christmas
1 point - Christmas

She's The One (1996)


Starring: Edward Burns, Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz
Director: Edward Burns

2 Thoughts On She's The One
  1. If Woody Allen were Catholic, this would be his movie.
  2. I enjoyed it, but I also understand why Ed Burns isn't make as many semi-high profile films anymore.
Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Cameron Diaz was way hotter in the 90's
2 points - I kind of like Edward Burns movies.
2 points - Strong Island represent.

Death At A Funeral (2010)


Starring: Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson
Director: Neil Labute

5 Thoughts On Death At A Funeral
  1. A laughed, slightly.
  2. *Generic Black Movie Trademark: The Crazy White Guy
  3. Speaking of the crazy white guy, it seems James Marsden always outshines the roles he is given.
  4. Luke Wilson's career. RIP.
  5. Tracy Morgan just seems like a guy everyone should hang out with once.
Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - drug use

Frost/Nixon (2008)


Starring: Frank Langella, Michael Sheen, Kevin Bacon
Director: Ron Howard

3 Thoughts On Frost/Nixon
  1. Underwhelming movie with overwhelmingly solid performances.
  2. Michael Sheen, NOT Frank Langella deserved all the accolades from this film.
  3. Once you've seen one Ron Howard movie, you've seen them all.
Rating: 6
15 points - acting
-9 points - overrated overall

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Date Night (2010)


Starring: Steve Carell, Tina Fey, James Franco
Director: Shawn Levy

4 Thoughts On Date Night
  1. Question: What happens when a bad script happens to a great comedic actor?*
  2. Answer: Date Night. (Evan Almighty would also be accepted)
  3. *Tina Fey was not included in my question because nothing she has ever done has actually been good. Yes, I know she was the head writer of SNL. Have you seen SNL lately. Yes, I know she starred in Baby Mama. Steve Martin and unfortunately Amy Poehler carried that movie. Yes, I know she writes and stars in "30 Rock." 30 Rock is the least funny show on television and anyone who claims to like it is just lying to themself.
  4. Dear James Franco, You are above this. Love, Mike
Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Thank you Steven

The Last Picture Show (1976)


Starring: Timothy Bottoms, Jeff Bridges, Ellen Burstyn
Director: Peter Bogdanovich

6 Thoughts On The Last Picture Show
  1. Great film, but a prime example of auteurism gone wild in the 1970's.
  2. To clarify: Movies in the 1960's/70's based on books are very easily distinguishable because directors are given way too much control. The Last Picture Show like many others, had no focus whatsoever.
  3. The acting is top notch all around. Including a great turn by Cloris Leachman.
  4. Cybill Shepherd in the 70s is just fantastic.
  5. The lack of focus gave much more character depth to the film which many heavily edited adaptations today lack with their concise narratives. (I am clearly a film genius.) Blame this on the jews.
  6. Mike At The Movies is in no way an anti-semitic. Many Hollywood producers are in fact jews. I am not breaking any news here.
Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - That's My Bush

Grumpy Old Men (1993)


Starring: Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margaret
Director: Donald Petrie

3 Thoughts On Grumpy Old Men
  1. Quintessential television movie. You may not laugh that loud, but it'll keep you on your couch every Sunday afternoon.
  2. Burgess Meredith steals every scene he's in.
  3. Ann-Margaret; still kind of a babe.
Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Walther Matthau
2 points - Jack Lemmon
2 points - Burgess Meredith
1 point - I love ice fishing.