The Mechanic (2011)

Starring: Jason Statham, Ben Foster
Director: Simon West

Thoughts On The Mechanic

1. First 2011 movie!
2. Any critic who attempts to seriously critique and analyze a Jason Statham vehicle should absolutely kill themselves.
3. I will say this for the 7 thousandth time. Ben Foster is the most underrated actor in Hollywood. Even in a generic role as this, he shines.
4. We may see these for hire killers as ruthless killers, but clearly from Statham's record collection, they're gentle inside

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
2 points - action
2 points - sex
2 points - insert generic male movie element here

Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time (2010)

Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Ben Kingsley, Gemma Arterton
Director: Mike Newell

Thoughts On Prince Of Persia: The Sands Of Time

1. Jerry Bruckheimer boasted this as the next Pirates level franchise. What the eff is he smoking?
2. Not only was this crap, but almost 2 and a half hours of crap.
3. Warning, cliche blockbuster twist. (Spoiler alert)
4. John Guggenheim is no franchise leading man.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
3 points - they put a lot of money into this. here's 3 points.

The African Queen (1952)

Starring: Humphrey Bogart, Katharine Hepburn, Robert Morley
Director: John Huston

Thoughts On The African Queen

1. What could I possibly say about a Hollywood classic?
2. Well, I'll try...
3. I liked it, but it has not aged well.
4. Bogie is a legendary leading man, but comes off too goofy in this one
5. Hepburn doesn't do anything for me. I mean in terms of acting prowess.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - John Huston made it better than it should have been.

The Runaways (2010)

Starring: Dakota Fanning, Kristen Stewart, Stella Maeve
Director: Floria Sigismondi

Thoughts On The Runaways

1. Could of been great. Could of been.
2. Neither Kristen Stewart nor Dakota Fanning are ready for leading roles in serious films.
3. Read: Twilight is NOT a serious film.
4. Read: Adventureland did rule, but she had a lot of help.
5. Michael Shannon needs to get more work. He deserves it.
6. The story of The Runaways just isn't that interesting. Sex, drugs, we get it. Crap. "Sex, drugs, we get it" should of been thought 1. Clever line, Mike.
   
7. I really doubt when movies portray the utter spontaneity of genius rising from choas. See: the origin of "Cherry Bomb."

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Dakota, you are growing up so fast.
2 points - Fine for a band doc.

Greenberg (2010)

Starring: Ben Stiller, Greta Gerwig, Rhys Ifans
Director: Noah Baumbach

Thoughts On Greenberg

1. I loved this movie so much but am certainly biased so heed not to the recommendations of this post. Hey, you might want to see it.
2. I love you Noah, but keep your wife separate from your work.
3. Ben Stiller performing oral sex on a female just looks very awkward.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - The Squid And The Whale gives Baumbach almost a lifetime pass

Crazy Heart (2009)

Starring: Jeff Bridges, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Colin Farrell
Director: Scott Cooper

Thoughts On Crazy Heart

1. Hmmmmmm, it was good.
2. Not a huge country music fan, so I am hesitant to love this film.
3. Did Jeff Bridges really deserve an Oscar for this?
4. Disclaimer: Jeff Bridges is an amazing actor.
5. Loved Colin Farrell and his role in the movie.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - it was fine.

Percy Jackson And The Olympians: The Lightning Thief (2010)

Starring: Logan Lerman, Brandon T. Jackson, Alexandra Daddario
Director: Chris Columbus

1. I didn't like it, but it's for tweens. I can dig.
2. Watch out parents, Chris Columbus is just putting his hands in all your children's pockets.
3. First Pierce Brosnan sings, then he's a minotaur? What can't this guy do?
4. Apparently casinos serving cookies in Las Vegas are just entirely unsafe. Let's stick to booze and drugs please.
5. Of course they make the black guy your stock "lovin' the ladies" character.

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Catherine Keener is such an amazing looking older woman
3 points - let's see where this franchise goes.

A Serious Man (2009)

Starring: Michael Stuhlbarg, Richard Kind, Sari Lennick
Director: Joel Coen, Ethan Coen

Thoughts On A Serious Man

1. After how many movies can I no longer say "I don't like the Coen brothers but I liked (insert movie here)."?
2. If you're not following me: Another fantastic Coen brothers effort.
3. Mark-out: Wolowitz!

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - my fake Judaism