Sherlock Holmes (2009)

4 Thoughts On Sherlock Holmes

1. Kind of, sometimes fun.
2. Robert Downey Jr. laid an acting beat down on Jude Law, despite the fact RDJ walked through his role as the world's most famous sleuth.
3. I STILL don't see anything special in Rachel McAdams.
4. I STILL don't see anything special in Guy Ritchie.

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 Points - Cocaine is one hell of a drug. Long live RDJ.

Stardust Memories (1980)

2 Thoughts On Stardust Memories

1. An amazingly well-crafted, often funny yet more often interesting film.
2. Don't ask me to explain or defend my love of Stardust Memories. My Woody Allen bias knows no bounds.

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 Points - ...Yeah

Up In The Air (2009)

Starring: George Clooney, Vera Farmiga, Anna Kendrick
Director: Jason Reitman

5 Thoughts On Up In The Air

1. Solid.
2. Not the Oscar lock that everyone says it is, but a solid film nevertheless.
3. Vera Farmiga is an untapped well of acting prowess.
4. Takes some very unexpected turns to keep the plot churning and the audience intrigued.
5. Once in a while Up In The Air develops Lost In Translation syndrome and uses too much subtext. Not that this is necessarily a bad thing.
   

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 Points - The year is almost over, just accept the 7 rating.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009)

Starring: Kristen Stewart, Taylor Lautner, Robert Pattinson
Director: Chris Weitz

6 Thoughts On The Twilight Saga: New Moon

1. Just plain awful.
2. Why do girls actually like these books/movies?
3. Why do girls actually like Robert Pattinson?
4. I guess I understand why girls like Taylor Lautner. He is a bad actor though.
5. Why are both Edward and Jacob going after Bella? She sucks
6. Kristen Stewart is pretty hot though.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
1 Point - KS
2 Points - Dakota Fanning is not a girl, not yet a woman.

Avatar (2009)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Zoe Sladana, Stephen Lang
Director: James Cameron

2 Thoughts On Avatar

1. Stunning, stunning, stunning, stunning visuals.
2. Shitty, shitty, shitty, shitty plot.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
5 Points - You MUST see this in Imax 3D.
1 Point - Is it just me or are the Na'vi kind of hot?

Ninja Assassin (2009)

Starring: Rain, Naomie Harris
Director: James McTeigue

3 Thoughts On Ninja Assassin

1. Senseless dumb action, but not in a cool senseless dumb action way. Understand?
2. Rain is huge in Korea. I thought I'd add that fact in.
3. Some cool fighting/blood stuff. I guess.

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Please God help me make it to the 2010 movie year.

Old Dogs (2009)

Starring: John Travolta, Robin Williams, Kelly Preston
Director: Walt Becker

5 Thoughts On Old Dogs

1. Yuck.
2. Robin Williams and John Travolta seem tired; very, very tired.
3. Thank you American movie audiences for making this film a financial failure. I still have faith in y'all.
4. Loved the nonsensical scene progression.
5. Question. John Travolta's daughter and wife are both in this movie. Doesn't JT also have a son? Guess someone is the black sheep in the Travolta household.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
1 Point - Justin Long
2 Points - Only 85 minutes of torture.

Armored (2009)

Starring: Matt Dillon, Jean Reno, Laurence Fishburne
Director: Nimrod Antal

4 Thoughts On Armored

1. Thrills!.....Kinda.
2. Laurence Fishburne is getting fat.
3. Cue the Skeet Ulrich comeback!
4. Seeing every movie sometimes sucks.

Rating 5
Rating Breakdown:
5 Points - No clue

A Christmas Carol (2009)

Starring: Jim Carrey, Gary Oldman, Cary Elwes
Director: Robert Zemeckis

3 Thoughts On A Christmas Carol

1. Classic story.
2. I don't care what anyone says, I hate Zemeckis animation.
3. The Muppets did it better.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
3 Points - Love the Dick....ens
3 Points - Love the Christmas

Planet 51

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Jessica Biel, Justin Long
Director: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad, Marcos Martinez

Thought on Planet 51

1. Took a 5 year old to see this movie. He liked it, I did not. Enough said

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
3 Points - Kid friendly
1 Point - Do you smell what The Rock is cookin'?

W. (2008)

Starring: Josh Brolin, Elizabeth Banks, James Cromwell
Director: Oliver Stone

4 Thoughts On W.

1. Decent, mildly entertaining film.
2. Decent, mildly entertaining film for a 2008 audience. Probably won't hold up for a 2028 audience.
3. Each character was predictably given personality traits reflective of their respective stereotypes. Ex. Bush is stupid, Cheney runs the show, Rove is is undermining.
4. Scenes where there was no possible way Oliver Stone could of known what was actually said were highly annoying to watch.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 Points - God bless America

Everybody's Fine (2009)

Starring: Robert De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Kate Beckinsale
Director: Kirk Jones

1 Thought On Everybody's Fine

1. Not about Christmas at all. Fuck You Everyody's Fine

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
3 Points - Kate
-1 Point - Why De Niro, Why?

Brothers (2009)

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Jake Gyllenhaal, Natalie Portman
Director: Jim Sheridan

4 Thoughts On Brothers

1. Jim Sheridan will always give the viewer their money's worth.
2. Disclaimer to Thought 1: I never saw Get Rich Or Die Tryin'
3. Natalie Portman can not act.
4. Tobey Maguire is weak throughout the film, yet solid by its climax.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Emotional journey
2 points - For when the acting was good.

The Express (2008)

Starring: Rob Brown, Charles S. Dutton, Dennis Quaid
Director: Gary Fleder

5 Thoughts On The Express

1. I always thought making a good uplifting, overcoming the odds sports film was simple. I guess not.
2. Overall the film was decent, but never attempts to make the audience care about it's main subjects.
3. How Rob Brown has had several big Hollywood roles, I will never know.
4. Considering the fact Ernie Davis dies right after college (No spoiler warning. Know your history silly.) kind of works against him as a potential protagonist.
5. NOTICE. Re: I get it, white people used to not like black people. Can we please focus on the story now?

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Bad acting. Dennis Quaid can be comical.
1 point - FOOTBALL!

Beverly Hills Chihuahua (2008)

Starring: Piper Perabo, Manolo Cardona, Jamie Lee Curtis
Director: Raja Gosnell

3 Thoughts On Beverly Hills Chihuahua

1. Why God, Why?
2. My 5 year old brother and sister walked off halfway through. Talking dogs could not keep their attention. Sad day.
3. One Piper Perabo getting railed scene might of made this movie watchable. Well, maybe.

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Short and mindless.

Precious (2009)

Starring: Gabourey Sidibe, Mo'Nique, Paula Patton
Director: Lee Daniels

5 Thoughts On Precious

1. Very, very good film. Nothing classic, but very, very good film.
2. I was not convinced of the Mo'Nique Oscar buzz. After the climactic scene, I penciled her in as a lock for a nomination.
3. The tone of the film told me to be said. I did not like that.
4. The character choices told me nothing. I was left to form my own opinions. I liked that.
5. Mike At The Movies will take the high road and make 0 black jokes. You're Welcome (or I'm Sorry)

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - It was a great movie. I don't feel like a witty point distribution tonight.

Fantastic Mr. Fox (2009)

Starring: George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman
Director: Wes Anderson

1 Thought On Fantastic Mr. Fox

1. Dear Wes Anderson (and you too Spike Jonze!), Adapting a children's book in a pretentious smarky fashion is not cool. Love, Mike

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Man, Rushmore is a great movie.

The Blind Side (2009)

Starring: Sandra Bullock, Tim McGraw, Quinton Aaron
Director: John Lee Hancock

2 Thoughts On The Blind Side

1. Cookie cutter overcoming the odds, feel-good sports movie.
2. I cried for the last hour.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
3 points - FOOTBALL!
3 points - Is it just me or is Sandra Bullock underrated on both talent and looks?

The Box (2009)

Starring: Cameron Diaz, James Marsden, Frank Langella
Director: Richard Kelly

4 Thoughts On The Box

1. Despite all my better judgement, I must officially announce that I liked this movie.
2. Despite poorly researched southern Virginia accents, Cameron Diaz and James Marsden were both soild.
3. Despite Frank Langella being awesome as always, there was no reason for half of his face to be missing.
   
4. Despite my liking of the ending, it would of been better had it come after a 7 minute short film. Not a feature length motion picture.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - Just because

Saw VI (2009)

Starring: Tobin Bell, Costas Mandylor, Shawnee Smith
Director: Kevin Greutert

4 Thoughts On Saw VI

1. Same old Saw stuff.
2. The well is running dry.
3. Sadly it seems epic twists are no longer required for the franchise.
4. EDDIE WINSLOW... EDDIE WINSLOW!

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
15 points - Not only is Eddie Winslow in this film, but Eddie Winslow dies in this film. (No spoiler alert necessary. My dear readers NEED to know this information.)
-10 points - Some decent gross stuff, but mostly same old shit.

Pirate Radio (2009)

Starring: Philip Seymour Hoffman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans
Director: Richard Curtis

4 Thoughts On Pirate Radio

1. Jolly good time.
2. Nick Frost is pretty damn funny. Even for an English guy.
3. Is the morning guy DEL MOTHER F'N PRESTON?!?! IT IS!!!
4. Ultimately a clever script that could just never truly reel me in.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown:
1 point - Del Preston
2 points - PSH is just always on.
2 points - strong female cast
1 point - Fun, fun, fun. Kind of