Max Payne (2008)

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges
Director: John Moore

Thoughts On Max Payne

1. No, no, no, yuck, no
2. I don't care what ANYBODY says, Mark Wahlberg is just the worst.
3. If you are into crime thrillers that then become a science fiction thriller that then become a corporate cover up thriller then this film is for you!
4. Dear human beings, If we stop seeing video game movies, they may just stop being made.
5. I'm not all that into celebrity women but wow Mila Kunis is hot.

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
1 point - Inappropriate Mila Kunis left breast comment
1 point - Inappropriate Mila Kunis right breast comment

Seven Years In Tibet (1997)

Starring: Brad Pitt, David Thewlis, Danny Denzongpa
Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud

Thoughts On Seven Years In Tibet

1. What happens when an actor's popularity and good looks get him lead roles in which he is too young and inexperienced?
2. Film Pet Peeve #45: Characters from foreign countries speaking English with their country-specific accent.
3. Uninspiring movie did indeed inspire me to read the book as Seven Years In Tibet could be a great story

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
2 points - for effort
3 points - I'm seriously considering dropping these rating breakdowns.

Sleepers (1996)

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman
Director: Barry Levinson

Thoughts On Sleepers

1. Why did it take me 14 years to see this?
2. Solid Levinson offering supported by great performances.
3. Sad to see Jason Patric is basically a punchline these days.
4. I normally hate Kevin Bacon but he shines as a perverted, pedophile guard.
5. One of the happiest/saddest endings ever. Ever.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 - Sometimes I hate these rating breakdowns.

Despicable Me (2010)

Starring: Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand
Directors: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

Thoughts On Despicable Me

1. When one separates the animated world between Pixar and non-Pixar, one may not expect much from non-Pixar offerings. Despicable Me is actually an solid animated film. It's no Pixar release, but still.
2. I have to find out what my 6 year old siblings think of this movie. They are the true authorities for this sort of fare.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - I heart fun.

The Expendables (2010)

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li
Director: Sylvester Stallone

Thoughts On The Expendables

1. Oh my yes.
2. Never has such little thought turned out such magnificent art.
3. I love you Stallone, but don't film yourself running. Doesn't really work for you anymore.
4. All wrestling bias aside, Steve Austin has the scene stealer here.
5. So much senseless fun.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
3 points - popcorn
3 points - soda
1 point - enjoy

Salt (2010)

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Director: Phillip Noyce

Thoughts On Salt

1. Another purely fun thriller.
2. I still don't like Angelina Jolie but she was just fine in this film.
3. Ever since Talk To Me, I've been real happy for Chiwetel Ejiofor's success.
4. That's all I really have to say about that.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
4 points - SUSPENSE
2 points - ACTION

Step Up 3D (2010)

Starring: Rick Malambri, Adam Sevani, Sharni Vinson
Director: Jon Chu

Thoughts On Step Up 3D

1. I must note, I did not see the film in 3D.
2. I must also note, I hated the film and don't think 3D could of saved it.
3. I marked out huge when I realized Camille is Sally from "Mike's Super Short Show."
4. Nice to see the kid from Elf getting some work.
5. Dear clever writers, twins hardly ever wear the exact same outfits. The more you know.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
1 point - mark out
5 points - fun dancing
-3 points - I have seen all 3 installments of the "Step Up" franchise. If I ever kill myself, police can look to this blog and this post as my suicide note.

Killers (2010)

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Selleck
Director: Robert Luketic

Thoughts On Killers

1. My first nominee for Worst of 2010!
2. Seriously, action-comedy often works. Killers does not fall into the often category. The genre mixture felt as natural as oil and water. (Need to work on a more biting comparison)
   
3. I have heard that Katherine Heigl is in fact an awful bitch in real life. I'm not sure how that fits in with this movie review but...yeah.
4. Worst plot twist of all time. ALL TIME.
5. Dear Catherine O'Hara, You are such a funny, funny woman. I have loved your work for so long. When I was a little kid, you're performance as a desperate mother in Home Alone was heart-breaking. Your turns in the Christopher Guest mockumentaries Waiting For Guffman, Best In Show, A Might Wind, and For Your Consideration were nothing short of hilarious. I have even seen some of your old SCTV stuff, and it is also great. You were actually pretty funny in this movie but please, never EVER participate in this garbage ever again.

Rating: 1
Rating Breakdown
1 point - Ashton Kutcher seems like an alright guy despite his uninformed liberal musings.

Predators (2010)

Starring: Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace
Director: Nimrod Antal

Thoughts On Predators

1. As a huge fan of the first Predator, I watch this and just want to cry.
2. I just don't understand how the cast and crew can feel they are making a great addition to the franchise.
3. Topher Grace, hope you enjoyed your ride on The Success Express. You're getting off at the next stop.
4. I want to say Laurence Fishburne is above this but Torque says otherwise.
5. The only cast member who seems to be on the up is Danny Trejo. Odd.
   
6. Consistent, pointless plot turns.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Some blood and killing can be fun.
1 point - I almost forget...Adrien Brody won an Oscar. My word.

Inception (2010)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Director: Christopher Nolan

Thoughts On Inception

1. Easily the best film of 2010. Going to be tough to dethrone this one.
2. While girls may be upset he is no longer the heart throb of yesteryear, portly middle-aged Leo DiCaprio is simply one of the best actors in the world.
3. The Joseph Gordon-Levitt anti-gravity fight scene reminded me just why I love movies so much.
4. Ellen Page felt a little out of place. Full disclosure: I generally do not like her.
   
5. Christopher Nolan is the master of pacing. His climax building sequences are in a pure class of their own.
6. For shitty movies, I truly enjoy throwing in a spoiler or 2. None will be included here. See this movie.

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - I originally gave it 10, then I woke up and realized I was dreaming.