Friday, January 29, 2010

When In Rome (2010)


Starring: Kristen Bell, Josh Duhamel, Will Arnett
Director: Mark Steven Johnson

3 Thoughts On When In Rome
  1. Kristen Bell and Josh Duhamel (rhyming leads!) end up together. Fuck you if you see this movie.
  2. Why would Will Arnett degrade himself to this?
  3. Cool cameo which I will not spoil. I will give a hint and say this cameo clearly indicated that Jon Heder's career is a dry basin.
Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
2 Points - Setting back the Italians 10 years.

The King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters (2007)


Starring: Steve Wiebe, Billy Mitchell, Walter Day
Director: Seth Gordon

4 Thoughts On The King Of Kong: A Fistful Of Quarters
  1. Spectacular, engaging documentary.
  2. There are disputed facts which might make everything in the film kind of not as amazing. It is my belief that films are supposed to lie, especially documentaries. If I wanted the truth, I would read a book. Luckily I prefer to listen to books than read them. What that has to do with anything, I'm not sure.
  3. I never thought I would care about video game nerds as much as I did.
  4. Not a 10, but a damn solid movie.

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - I love audiobooks. Once again, what this has to do with anything, I'm not sure.

Leap Year (2010)


Starring: Amy Adams, Matthew Goode, Kaitlin Olson
Director: Anand Tucker

2 Thoughts On Leap Year
  1. Amy Adams and Matthew Goode end up together. Fuck you if you see this movie.
  2. Boy Meets World Alumni Alert: Griff (Adam Scott)

Rating: 1
Rating Breakdown
12 Points - Harley Keiner's foe!
-11 Points - Leap Year

Youth In Revolt (2010)


Starring: Michael Cera, Portia Doubleday, Jean Smart
Director: Miguel Arteta

4 Thoughts On Youth In Revolt
  1. Very funny, nothing classic, but very funny.
  2. Michael Cera is working on borrowed time at this point. Sad.
  3. Consuming mushroom based narcotics in movies is always funny.
  4. Once in a while a little too pretentious for its own good.
Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - funny fun.

Daybreakers (2010)


Starring: Ethan Hawke, Willem Dafoe, Claudia Karvin
Director: Michael Spierig, Peter Spierig

3 Thoughts On Daybreakers
  1. Cool concept, great visual tone, good story.
  2. Needed 1 or 2 epic action sequences. At times the film just became to much dialogue for a thriller.
  3. The world needs more Sam Neil in movies.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
4 Points - A vampire movie with 0 love triangles. That is rare these days.
2 points - Sequel is coming. You heard it here first.

Stay Hungry (1976)


Starring: Jeff Bridges, Sally Field, Arnold Schwarzenegger
Director: Bob Rafelson

5 Thoughts On Stay Hungry
  1. I kind of liked this movie, not sure why.
  2. About halfway through the film, I stated to my friend "This must be based on a novel." I was right.
  3. A lot of Stay Hungry was quite bizarre, yet I just attributed the wackiness of 1970's film. Is 1970's film indeed "wacky?" I am unsure.
  4. Early Arnold Schwarzenegger = Not so great Arnold Schwarzenegger.
  5. Sally Field circa 1976 = Pretty hot. Whodathunkit.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - Liking a Bob Rafelson movie will make me seem smart and hip.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Summer Catch (2001)


Starring: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jessica Biel, Fred Ward
Director: Michael Tollin

6 Thoughts On Summer Catch
  1. Summer crap. Ha.
  2. It is kind of sad how Freddie Prinze Jr. no longer has a career.
  3. It is completely understandable why Freddie Prinze Jr. no longer has a career.
  4. I hate baseball, yet I can name at least 20 better baseball movies. Did I say 20? Better make it 45.
  5. Brittany Murphy portrays the local team whore. RIP
  6. In case you did not interpret my first thought correctly, the movie sucked.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Even though I'm not into Jessica Biel, she's still pleasant to look at.
1 point - Watching movies with a relevant Matthew Lillard makes me feel young again

Best Of 2009
























Worst Of 2009 In Posters










Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (2009)


Starring: Jason Lee, David Cross, Wendie Malick
Director: Betty Thomas

2 Thoughts On Alvin And The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel
  1. Despite the clever spin on the word sequel, this movie is far from clever, or entertaining, or funny.
  2. David Cross however, is funny.
  3. 88 minutes, not too shabby.
Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
3 points - THE LAST MOVIE I HAVE TO SEE IN 2009! HOLY CRAP!

Invictus (2009)


Starring: Morgan Freeman, Matt Damon
Director: Clint Eastwood

2 Thoughts On Invictus
  1. I wanted to hate it because Clint Eastwood gets a little too much credit for anything he does. I loved this movie.
  2. A surefire favorite of sports movie lovers.
Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Matt Damon is just sexier than ever after losing his Informant! weight. Unless he filmed this movie first, then it's just good to see sexy Matt Damon again. Did I say Matt Damon? I mean Morgan Freeman. Morgan Freeman is just sexier than ever.

Nine (2009)


Starring: Daniel Day-Lewis, Marion Cotillard, Penelope Cruz
Director: Rob Marshall

3 Thoughts On Nine
  1. Nine = 0 fun
  2. Penelope Cruz singing in a super sexy outfit; that was fun.
  3. A musical has to be REALLY good for me to somewhat like it.
Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
3 points - DDL, even though he barely tries in this movie.

The Princess And The Frog (2009)


Starring: Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, Keith David
Director: Ron Clements, John Musker

3 Thoughts On The Princess And The Frog
  1. Small twist on a recycled plot, ok songs. At least the New Orleans locale made things spicy like jumbalaya
  2. Computer animation is the present. Let's stop this classic animation crap.
  3. The Little Mermaid is still the best Disney animated movie. I don't know what that has to do with this review but it needed to be said.
Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
4 points - I might bring my 5 year old sister to see this film. If she likes it, I raise the rating.

2012 (2009)


Starring: John Cusack, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Amanda Peet
Director: Roland Emmerich

4 Thoughts On 2012
  1. Intriguing premise, which Roland Emmerich shockingly did not completely fuck up.
  2. I was sucked into the plot out of pure support for John Cusack. Who would ever want John Cusack and his family to dies? He is so pleasant.
  3. A 2 hour and 30 minute film that barely dragged. Kudos.
  4. Despite my praise, 2012 was ultimately just a popcorn action movie.
Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - this movie got people to actually start thinking the world will end in 2012. Amen

Did You Hear About The Morgans? (2009)


Starring: Hugh Grant, Sarah Jessica Parker, Sam Elliot
Director: Marc Lawrence

3 Thoughts On Did You Hear About The Morgans?
  1. Did you hear about this crap? I laugh.
  2. I feel like Sarah Jessica Parker smells. Did you hear about the 0 evidence I have to back this up?
  3. Writer/Director Marc Lawrence is a Binghamton alumni. Did you hear about my new role model?
Rating: Did you hear about a 9? Actually it's a 2
Rating Breakdown
2 points - did you hear I'm getting really sick and tired of 2009 movies?

It's Complicated (2009)



Starring: Meryl Streep, Steve Martin, Alec Baldwin
Director: Nancy Meyers

6 Thoughts On It's Complicated
  1. (10 seconds in) HOLY SHIT THAT'S THE DOUCHEBAG BOYFRIEND FROM ROOKIE OF THE YEAR!
  2. Although Bruce Altman does not exit this film after being thrown down the stairs by Mary Rowengartner, It's Complicated still manages to be an entertaining film.
  3. Director Nancy Meyers has a solid history of making above average romantic comedies (What Women Want, Something's Gotta Give). It's Comlicated is no exception.
  4. Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin "bring the goods" as the divorced couple embroiled in a steamy affair...with each other!
  5. Steve Martin is slightly out of place but still manages to gracefully hang with his co-stars.
  6. Jim Halpert in a movie = Amazing. Jim Halpert smoking weed in a movie = Have not invented the proper word yet.
Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - for reasons. several reasons