Kick-Ass (2010)

Starring: Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz
Director: Matthew Vaughn

5 Thoughts On Kick-Ass

1. The title says it all.
2. Hit-Girl + Excessive Violence = Kick Ass Awesome
3. This and Adaptation may be my only 2 likable Nicolas Cage performances.
4. Christopher Mintz-Plasse playes a slightly different role here, but still does a decent job.
5. Kick-Ass's girlfriend is so friggin hot.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Kick Ass!

The Spirit (2008)

Starring: Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson
Director: Frank Miller

2 Thoughts On The Spirit

1. May 7th, Iron Man 2.
2. Thank God.

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Yuck.

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

Starring: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Julie Benz
Director: Lexi Alexander

2 Thoughts On Punisher: War Zone

1. Comic fans appreciated the darker tone of this movie. I am not a comic fan. The Thomas Jane version was way better.
2. It was what it was.

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Action
1 point - Disappointing Action

Shutter Island (2010)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo
Director: Martin Scorsese

4 Thoughts On Shutter Island

1. Brilliantly well done film.
2. I figured out the ending within the first scene.
3. Figuring out the ending within the first scene completely ruins this film.
4. Martin Scorsese is a master of his craft, but M. Night Shyamalan he is not.
5. Still a brilliantly well done film.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Scorsese at his best
5 points - Leo is a treat!
-3 points - Maybe I'm just too smart to watch movies.

Clash Of The Titans (2010)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos
Director: Louis Leterrier

2 Thoughts On Clash Of The Titans

1. Grab popcorn, a soda, a date (or in my case a dude) and enjoy.
2. Fuck pretentious people.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - I hate shitting on movies that are purely made to entertain.

Hostel (2005)

Starring: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Jennifer Lim
Director: Eli Roth

5 Thoughts On Hostel

1. I liked this horror film. This statement was paid for by Mike At The Movies.
2. The gruesome torture for which the film is famous for does not occur until around half way through the movie. I liked that.
3. Derek Richardson was in this and Dumb and Dumberer. What a career.
4. Horror movies are always reliable for good looking women. Nothing wrong with that.
5. Jay Hernandez actually does a decent job.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Gore!
2 points - Suspense!
2 points - Horror!

The Last Song (2010)

Starring: Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Greg Kinnear
Director: Julie Ann Robinson

3 Thoughts On The Last Song

1. I was going to throw in spoilers, but I won't. I will spoil the overall product and say this movie is garbage.
2. My desire to lay on top of Miley Cyrus is in no way indicative of acting ability. She is garbage.
3. Why Greg Kinnear, why?

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdwon
2 points - I wish I could think of 7 complaints about The Last Song, then title this post "7 things I hate about this movie."

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Starring: John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson
Director: Steve Pink

7 Thoughts On Hot Tub Time Machine

1. God bless the intricate Hollywood production system for letting the title Hot Tub Time Machine make it all the way through development.
2. Surely provides $10.50 worth of laughs.
3. Craig Robinson in anything is awesome.
4. John Cusack straying a bit from typecast and going dirty is a welcome change.
5. Crispin Glover continues to be one of the most underrated actors of all time. Ben Foster can you hear me?
6. Pretentious people need not apply. Normal people, enjoy the laughs.
7. Even though Rob Corddry tries too hard, he's still kind of funny.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
3 points - The Cuse
4 points - "It must be some sort of... hot tub time machine"

Foot Fist Way (2006)

Starring: Danny McBride, Ben Best, Mary Jane Bostic
Director: Jody Hill

5 Thoughts On Foot Fist Way

1. Absurdly funny movie. Not the funniest movie ever as Will Ferrell believes, but still a damn funny movie.
2. Watch this film twice (it's only 80 minutes!). The first time you'll watch it as a movie. The second time, you'll start to truly enjoy all its nuances.
3. Danny McBride is one of those actors I don't want to admit is funny, but man, he is.
4. Jody Hill knows how to make subtle, funny movies.
5. Every "demo" was just brilliant.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - laughs

Repo Men (2010)

Starring: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Liev Schrieber
Director: Miguel Sapochnik

4 Thoughts On Repo Men

1. Part of my "Mike gets out of the house once a week while he has a bad knee movie series." So of course I loved it.
2. Didn't Forest Whitaker win an Oscar?
3. Decent ending that rips off a famous short story by a famous author. No spoilers here.
4. Great bit part by RZA.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Jude Law leads a decently solid sci-fi action flick.
3 points - Wu Tang is for the children

Nothing Like The Holidays (2008)

Starring: Luis Guzman, John Leguizamo, Debra Messing
Director: Alfredo De Villa

1 Thought On Nothing Like The Holidays

1. Everyone loves Puerto Rican girls but if this is what the holidays will be like; count me out.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
3 points - I can't totally crap on a holiday movie.

Stealing Harvard (2002)

Starring: Jason Lee, Tom Green, Leslie Mann
Director: Bruce McCulloch

4 Thoughts On Stealing Harvard

1. Yeah, not so much goodness.
2. Leslie Mann is so much better when not in actually good movies.
3. As much as it saddens me, I kind of understand why Tom Green is no longer in movies.
4. Martin Starr appearance does semi-save everything.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
3 points - I miss TG.

She's Out Of My League (2010)

Starring: Jay Baruchel, Alice Eve
Director: Jim Field Smith

5 Thoughts On She's Out Of My League

1. Starts out slow, but eventually becomes a solid love story, and ultimately very funny movie.
2. Jay Baruchel deserves every success he has in the film industry.
3. Consistently borders goofy comedy but never crosses. Bonus points for staying real and funny at the same time.
4. Debra Jo Rupp is still so funny.
5. HOCKEY GAME IN A MOVIE!!

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
10 points - Steven Karp will rule the world one day
-3 points - Why did they have to be Penguins fans?

Body Of Lies (2008)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Russell Crowe
Director: Ridley Scott

6 Thoughts On Body Of Lies

1. Dear Readers, I present to you my own "body of lies."
2. I loved this movie.
3. Ridley Scott has been on fire since Gladiator.
4. Russell Crowe is a very underrated actor.
5. At no point in the film did I ever feel like I had seen this already.
6. Body of Lies is perfect for Leo Dicaprio's limited talent.

Rating: 10(lie)...4(truth)
Rating Breakdown
2 points - this review was so clever.
2 points - meh

Palindromes (2004)

Starring: Ellen Barkin, Matthew Faber, Rachel Corr
Director: Todd Solondz

3 Thoughts On Palindromes

1. More people NEED to watch Todd Solondz movies.
2. A pure treat from beginning to end.
3. Like every Solondz movie, the viewer is allowed to make all their own judgments and opinions.

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - Could of been a 10, but making the lead a fat black girl halfway through the film just annoyed me. I swear I'm not racist.

Orgazmo (1997)

Starring: Trey Parker, Dian Bachar, Robyn Lynne Raab
Director: Trey Parker

4 Thoughts On Orgazmo

1. Funny movie. Funnier if you love everything done by "The South Park Guys."
2. Best intro theme song ever.
3. Dian Bachar needs to have an epic career comeback. Then again, Squeak is a little bitch.
4. For the casual fan, Orgazmo shows Trey and Matt just a little before they figured out how to be really funny.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - For fans only. Or, for fans mostly.

Don't Say A Word (2001)

Starring: Michael Douglas, Sean Bean, Brittany Murphy
Director: Gary Fleder

3 Thoughts On Don't Say A Word

1. This movie was flatter than Brittany Murphy's heart rate.
2. The plot was more bland than Brittany Murphy's cadaver.
3. Insert crappy Brittany Murphy joke here.

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
4 points - RIP

Match Point (2005)

Starring: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Scarlett Johansson, Emily Mortimer
Director: Woody Allen

2 Thoughts On Match Point

1. One of the best Woody Allen movies I have ever seen.
2. We all know what rating I'm about to give.

Rating: 10
Rating Breakdown
10 points - I know I can't be trusted with Woody reviews, but seriously see this movie.

Revolutionary Road (2008)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Kate Winslet, Michael Shannon
Director: Sam Mendes

4 Thoughts On Revolutionary Road

1. On paper, this is a great movie. On screen, it is a very good movie.
   
2. I don't buy Leo as a 30 s0mething year old father.
3. Too much of the stuck in the suburbs cliche.
4. Michael Shannon is fantastic.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Kate Winslet is always amazing.
3 points - supporting cast

Beer League (2006)

Starring: Artie Lang, Ralph Macchio, Laurie Metcalf
Director: Frank Sebastiano

1 Thought On Beer League

1. Fucking hilarious

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - For Artie fans only.