Max Payne (2008)

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Mila Kunis, Beau Bridges
Director: John Moore

Thoughts On Max Payne

1. No, no, no, yuck, no
2. I don't care what ANYBODY says, Mark Wahlberg is just the worst.
3. If you are into crime thrillers that then become a science fiction thriller that then become a corporate cover up thriller then this film is for you!
4. Dear human beings, If we stop seeing video game movies, they may just stop being made.
5. I'm not all that into celebrity women but wow Mila Kunis is hot.

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
1 point - Inappropriate Mila Kunis left breast comment
1 point - Inappropriate Mila Kunis right breast comment

Seven Years In Tibet (1997)

Starring: Brad Pitt, David Thewlis, Danny Denzongpa
Director: Jean-Jacques Annaud

Thoughts On Seven Years In Tibet

1. What happens when an actor's popularity and good looks get him lead roles in which he is too young and inexperienced?
2. Film Pet Peeve #45: Characters from foreign countries speaking English with their country-specific accent.
3. Uninspiring movie did indeed inspire me to read the book as Seven Years In Tibet could be a great story

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
2 points - for effort
3 points - I'm seriously considering dropping these rating breakdowns.

Sleepers (1996)

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman
Director: Barry Levinson

Thoughts On Sleepers

1. Why did it take me 14 years to see this?
2. Solid Levinson offering supported by great performances.
3. Sad to see Jason Patric is basically a punchline these days.
4. I normally hate Kevin Bacon but he shines as a perverted, pedophile guard.
5. One of the happiest/saddest endings ever. Ever.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 - Sometimes I hate these rating breakdowns.

Despicable Me (2010)

Starring: Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand
Directors: Pierre Coffin, Chris Renaud

Thoughts On Despicable Me

1. When one separates the animated world between Pixar and non-Pixar, one may not expect much from non-Pixar offerings. Despicable Me is actually an solid animated film. It's no Pixar release, but still.
2. I have to find out what my 6 year old siblings think of this movie. They are the true authorities for this sort of fare.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - I heart fun.

The Expendables (2010)

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li
Director: Sylvester Stallone

Thoughts On The Expendables

1. Oh my yes.
2. Never has such little thought turned out such magnificent art.
3. I love you Stallone, but don't film yourself running. Doesn't really work for you anymore.
4. All wrestling bias aside, Steve Austin has the scene stealer here.
5. So much senseless fun.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
3 points - popcorn
3 points - soda
1 point - enjoy

Salt (2010)

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber, Chiwetel Ejiofor
Director: Phillip Noyce

Thoughts On Salt

1. Another purely fun thriller.
2. I still don't like Angelina Jolie but she was just fine in this film.
3. Ever since Talk To Me, I've been real happy for Chiwetel Ejiofor's success.
4. That's all I really have to say about that.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
4 points - SUSPENSE
2 points - ACTION

Step Up 3D (2010)

Starring: Rick Malambri, Adam Sevani, Sharni Vinson
Director: Jon Chu

Thoughts On Step Up 3D

1. I must note, I did not see the film in 3D.
2. I must also note, I hated the film and don't think 3D could of saved it.
3. I marked out huge when I realized Camille is Sally from "Mike's Super Short Show."
4. Nice to see the kid from Elf getting some work.
5. Dear clever writers, twins hardly ever wear the exact same outfits. The more you know.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
1 point - mark out
5 points - fun dancing
-3 points - I have seen all 3 installments of the "Step Up" franchise. If I ever kill myself, police can look to this blog and this post as my suicide note.

Killers (2010)

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, Tom Selleck
Director: Robert Luketic

Thoughts On Killers

1. My first nominee for Worst of 2010!
2. Seriously, action-comedy often works. Killers does not fall into the often category. The genre mixture felt as natural as oil and water. (Need to work on a more biting comparison)
   
3. I have heard that Katherine Heigl is in fact an awful bitch in real life. I'm not sure how that fits in with this movie review but...yeah.
4. Worst plot twist of all time. ALL TIME.
5. Dear Catherine O'Hara, You are such a funny, funny woman. I have loved your work for so long. When I was a little kid, you're performance as a desperate mother in Home Alone was heart-breaking. Your turns in the Christopher Guest mockumentaries Waiting For Guffman, Best In Show, A Might Wind, and For Your Consideration were nothing short of hilarious. I have even seen some of your old SCTV stuff, and it is also great. You were actually pretty funny in this movie but please, never EVER participate in this garbage ever again.

Rating: 1
Rating Breakdown
1 point - Ashton Kutcher seems like an alright guy despite his uninformed liberal musings.

Predators (2010)

Starring: Adrien Brody, Laurence Fishburne, Topher Grace
Director: Nimrod Antal

Thoughts On Predators

1. As a huge fan of the first Predator, I watch this and just want to cry.
2. I just don't understand how the cast and crew can feel they are making a great addition to the franchise.
3. Topher Grace, hope you enjoyed your ride on The Success Express. You're getting off at the next stop.
4. I want to say Laurence Fishburne is above this but Torque says otherwise.
5. The only cast member who seems to be on the up is Danny Trejo. Odd.
   
6. Consistent, pointless plot turns.

Rating: 3
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Some blood and killing can be fun.
1 point - I almost forget...Adrien Brody won an Oscar. My word.

Inception (2010)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ken Watanabe, Joseph Gordon-Levitt
Director: Christopher Nolan

Thoughts On Inception

1. Easily the best film of 2010. Going to be tough to dethrone this one.
2. While girls may be upset he is no longer the heart throb of yesteryear, portly middle-aged Leo DiCaprio is simply one of the best actors in the world.
3. The Joseph Gordon-Levitt anti-gravity fight scene reminded me just why I love movies so much.
4. Ellen Page felt a little out of place. Full disclosure: I generally do not like her.
   
5. Christopher Nolan is the master of pacing. His climax building sequences are in a pure class of their own.
6. For shitty movies, I truly enjoy throwing in a spoiler or 2. None will be included here. See this movie.

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - I originally gave it 10, then I woke up and realized I was dreaming.

I Shall Return

Mike will be back in the States in January. Enjoy your break from me being an asshole about movies!

Very Bad Things (1998)

Starring: Jon Favreau, Cameron Diaz, Christian Slater
Director: Peter Berg

Thoughts On Very Bad Things

1. If it weren't for Zach Galifinakis, I would say in terms of Las Vegas bachelor party movies, Very Bad Things > The Hangover.
2. Kind of a train wreck, but a fun, dark train wreck!
3. Peter Berg has come a long way.
4. One of a few roles in which I actually enjoyed Cameron Diaz's work. She was indeed an acting highlight. Yes, I just called Cameron Diaz an acting highlight.
5. Daniel Stern needs to take more roles.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Jon Favreau
2 points - We miss you Christian Slater
3 points - Whatever else.

Grown Ups (2010)

Starring: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock
Director: Dennis Dugan

Thoughts On Grown Ups

1. No, Adam, No!
2. I feel like Adam Sandler did not want to make a movie, but wanted to make money and stay relevant. To do this, he just got all his friends to make a movie together.
3. It seems creativity stayed at a minimum.
4. Steve Buscemi and Norm Macdonald shined in their cameos. (As always)
5. Chris Rock will never be funny in a movie. Damn shame.
6. Kevin James can be a bigger star than Adam Sandler if he chooses. You heard it here first.
7. Watching David Spade is kind of sad.

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Some laughs
2 points - NORM

Toy Story 3 (2010)

Starring: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack
Director: Lee Unkrich

Thoughts On Toy Story 3

1. Pixar is like that kid in high school who was the best player on the football team, and simultaneously always got better grades than you. Then, on top of that, you both played the same instrument, but he was a chair higher than you. To make matters even worse, this same guy saw The Sixth Sense a day before you and accidentally spoiled the twist ending yet you can't be mad at him because he's just overall a nice guy.
2. Toy Story 3 is just a continuation of the "Pixar can do no wrong" legacy. I want to hate Pixar for all their success, but their movies are just so friggin good.
3. I will say this 3rd installment is not as good as the first 2, but wow is it better than 99% of all 3rd installments.
4. I almost cried at the end. There, I said it.

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - Reach for the sky.

The Karate Kid (2010)

Starring: Jackie Chan, Jaden Smith, Taraji P. Henson
Director: Harald Zwart

Thoughts On The Karate Kid

1. Recipe For Disaster: Remake of a cheesy 80's film, director's follow-up to Pink Panther 2, unproven, inexperienced son of a movie star in the lead role.
2. Despite my Recipe For Disaster, The Karate Kid works on every level. I officially know nothing. FML.
3. I think Jaden Smith comes across as an unappreciative ass in person, but in the film he manages to hold his own. While not a blow-away performance, he never once distracts from the story.
4. Is Jackie Chan officially a box office draw in America? Most evidence says yes. Around The World In 80 Days says no.
5. I don't mean to overly praise this film or the actors. "It was what it was."

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - For whatever reason I feel like.

Splice (2010)

Starring: Adrien Brody, Sarah Polley, Delphine Chaneac
Director: Vincenzo Natali

Thoughts On Splice

1. Interesting little sci-fi film in which I had to constantly remind myself that Adrien Brody won an Oscar.
2. Enthusiastically studies the human condition amidst a science fiction backdrop. Adrien Brody won an Oscar.
3. Despite a difficult character to get behind, I like Sarah Polley. Adrien Brody won an Oscar.
4. Buy a ticket for the premise, stay for the scene stealers. Adrien Brody won an Oscar.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
5 points - genre bending goodness
2 points - Adrien Brody won an Oscar

Shooter (2007)

Starring: Mark Wahlberg, Danny Glover, Ned Beatty
Director: Antoine Fuqua

Thoughts On Shooter

1. Decent film, decent, action, decent suspense. Not the worst way to spend 2 hours.
2. Shooter utilizes Mark Wahlberg's best strength: not emoting.
3. CAASSSEEYYY JONNNESSS!

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - Hey, Bogey... who died and made you referee? You did your job, now get out of here and let me do mine, all right? These JV low lifes need to be taught a lesson

Marmaduke (2010)

Starring: Owen Wilson, George Lopez, Fergie
Director: Tom Dey

Thoughts On Marmaduke

1. Apparently I love watching kid films.
2. Even as a kid film, this one was rather poor.
3. My 5 year old siblings liked it, so what do I know?
4. McLovin and Jules in the same flick again! What's a boy to do?

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Despite my dislike of Marmaduke, the kids loved it and that's all that matters.

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa (2008)

Starring: Ben Stiller, Chris Rock, David Schwimmer
Director: Eric Darnell, Tom McGrath

Thoughts On Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa

1. Kids' movie that does not transcend the genre but entertains nevertheless.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Do it for the kids
2 points - Andy Richter

The Messenger (2009)

Starring: Ben Foster, Woody Harrelson, Samantha Morton
Director: Oren Moverman

Thoughts On The Messenger

1. holyshitwowmywordthemessengerisamazing
   
2. I will say this for the 4,000th time: Ben Foster is the most underrated actor working right now. I dare say one of the most underrated actors of all time. How this man was not nominated for an Oscar is appalling. How this man was not nominated for an Emmy for his work in "Flash Forward" makes more sense.
3. As much as I thought Ben Foster had the stronger performance, Woody Harrelson's accolades were well deserved.
4. Samantha Morton is brilliant as always.
5. Definitely do not see this movie if you need a pick-me up

Rating: 9
9 points - I wanted to give this film a 10 oh so badly. Just didn't have that truly timeless vibe.

Get Him To The Greek (2010)

Starring: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, Elisabeth Moss
Director: Nicholas Stoller

Thoughts On Get Him To The Greek

1. Funny, funny, funny, funny.
2. Mike wonders if Russell Brand will truly have a successful US film career or is he a one-trick pony.
3. Michael acts as if a one-trick pony can not make it in American film. Michael forgot about Michael Cera, Sean William Scott, Paul Rudd and many others.
4. Mike's Note: I act as if I don't actually like Michael Cera, Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd.
5. Puff Daddy was actually very funny beyond a "Oh hey look it's Puff Daddy poking fun at himself" kind of way.
6. I can't tell whether I am attracted to Elisabeth Moss or not. I might be.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
10 points - Jonah Hill movies generally get free rides from me.
-2 points - Dear Nicholas Stoller, Please follow the Woody Allen rule and keep comedies at 90 minutes. Thanks. Love, Mike

The Slammin' Salmon (2009)

Starring: Jay Chandrasekhar, Kevin Heffernan, Steve Lemme
Director: Kevin Heffernan

5 Thoughts On The Slammin' Salmon

1. Criminally underwatched Broken Lizard offering.
2. As someone who was not a die-hard Super Troopers or Beerfest fan. I would put this film on par.
3. Michael Clarke Duncan holds his own with a talented comedic ensemble.
4. Cobie Smulders, I heart you.
   
5. Lots of problems with plot development and predictable turns. Who cares? The movie is funny.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Bringing the funny
1 point - wedding flashback
1 point - MCD
2 points - Scherbatsky!

Letters To Juliet (2010)

Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Chris Egan, Vanessa Redgrave
Director: Gary Winick

4 Thoughts On Letters To Juliet

1. We were both young when I first saw you
2. I close my eyes and the flashback starts
3. I'm standing there
4. On a balcony in summer air

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
3 points - You were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
2 points - And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

Sex And The City 2 (2010)

Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis
Director: Michael Patrick King

2 Thoughts On Sex And The City 2

1. Michael will not be commenting on this fim until he completes his viewing of the "Sex And The City" complete series.
2. Come back soon!
   

MacGruber (2010)

Starring: Will Forte, Kristen Wiig, Ryan Phillippe
Director: Jorma Taccone

Thoughts On MacGruber

1. Holy shit, it will be almost impossible for any film this year to be funnier than this one.
2. The fact that no one is seeing this movie is criminal. Shame on you America.
3. Despite how funny this was, I still don't like the sketch.
4. Reese Witherspoon = One of Hollywood's top leading ladies. Ryan Phillippe = Puts a celery stalk up his ass in the film MacGruber. Now THAT is what you call a rough divorce.
5. MacGruber features two of my all time favorite comedic sex scenes.
6. Mike's Note: 6 WWE wrestlers featured in this film in no way affected the overall lovefest I am currently throwing.
7. Val Kilmer. In on the joke or not? You decide!

Rating: 9
Rating Breakdown
9 points - Support great comedy. See MacGruber.

Robin Hood (2010)

Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Matthew Macfadyen
Director: Ridley Scott

4 Thoughts On Robin Hood

1. A decent, modern upgrade to the Robin Hood story.
2. Russell Crowe got a cool 20 million but I didn't see 20 million dollars worth of effort. I'm so funny.
3. A little too long and drawn out for my taste.
4. I felt like I had seen all the battle scenes before.

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Extremely difficult movie to rate. Went safe with the 5.

Changeling (2008)

Starring: Angelina Jolie, Jeffrey Donovan, John Malkovich
Director: Clint Eastwood

5 Thoughts On Changeling

1. Another excellent Eastwood offering.
2. The main problem of the film is many directors (not just Clint) tend to get lazy in their directing when they know their story is naturally compelling.
3. Easily could of been a 2 hour movie. It's 2 and a half hours in case you did not know.
4. Kind of cool seeing John Malkovich as the good guy.
5. I thought Angelina was solid, not extraordinary.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Clint Eastwood may officially be my right wing Woody Allen.

Marley & Me (2008)

Starring: Owen Wilson, Jennifer Aniston, Eric Dane
Director: David Frankel

4 Thoughts On Marley & Me

1. For a family blockbuster, it wasn't half bad.
2. Seeing Don Roos as one of the writers led me to believe this film would be slightly above average. I was correct.
3. Wilson and Aniston's characters were just terrible dog owners.
4. This emotionally moving film failed to emotionally move me.
5. Sam Barron loves dogs.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
10 points - It's a movie about dogs!
-4 points - Sam Barron loves dogs.

Rocky II (1979)

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young
Director: Sylvester Stallone

3 Thoughts On Rocky II

1. This film is generally dismissed amongst fans, but I found it to be a very worthy sequel.
2. I would go into more detail, but I am literally the last person on Earth to watch the "Rocky" series.
3. Oh yeah, and Adrian kind of annoys me.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Italian stereotypes gone wild.
4 points - Gonna Fly Now

Flash Of Genius (2008)

Starring: Greg Kinnear, Lauren Graham, Dermot Mulroney
Director: Marc Abraham

1 Thought On Flash Of Genius

1. A movie about a windshield wiper. The End.
   

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
10 points - If you love windshield wipers! (5 if you only appreciate them)

Chloe (2010)

Starring: Julianne Moore, Liam Neeson, Amanda Seyfried
Director: Atom Egoyan

6 Thoughts On Chloe

1. Before I talk about Chloe, I must state that Julianne Moore has square nipples. Thank you.
2. I think there was a subtle hint of melodrama thrown in here, but what do I know?
3. I liked it a lot, but it may be for Egoyan fans only.
4. Liam Neeson goes 0-60 way too quickly in several key scenes.
5. If you don't like Atom Egoyan, see this for the big Moore/Seyfried scene. I'm not into girl on girl, but if you are...
6. Julianne Moore is still top 5 on my female celebrity list.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - Would of been higher, but I figured too many things out as the movie progressed.

Iron Man 2 (2010)

Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle
Director: Jon Favreau

8 Thoughts On Iron Man 2

1. If you forget the original Iron Man ever existed, Iron Man 2 is one phenomenal superhero action film.
2. If for some reason you don't have short-term memory loss, Iron Man 2 simply can not live up to its predecessor.
3. I love Don Cheadle, but I hate replacing actors mid-franchise. Side note, I love Terrence Howard more. (Whoop That Trick!)
4. Scarlett Johansson did not need to be in this movie.
5. Mickey Rourke should just stick to the only thing he was ever great in; pretending to be a pro-wrestler.
6. Robert Downey Jr. could star in a remake of Gigli and it would seem decent.
7. I know I've said this in every movie starring RDJ, but man cocaine is a hell of a drug.
8. Stay for the credits. I did, and had to look up what the reference was!

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Everyone is going to see this so it doesn't really matter.

Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show (2008)

Starring: Ahmed Ahmed, Sean Fitzgerald, Peter Billingsley
Director: Ari Sandel

3 Thoughts On Vince Vaughn's Wild West Comedy Show

1. Not really all that "all-access," but at least most of the standup is funny.
2. Justin Long just seems like he would be super nice in person. A friend has confirmed this.
3. I wish they would of showed more Vince Vaughn improv. It seemed funnier than any of his latest movies.

Rating: 6
6 points - I had some fun.

A Nightmare On Elm Street (2010)

Starring: Jackie Earle Haley, Kyle Gallner, Rooney Mara
Director: Samuel Bayer

3 Thoughts On A Nightmare On Elm Street

1. Middle of the road slasher film. Worth the money at a bargain theater.
2. Jackie Earle Haley deserves all of his success.
3. The new Freddy Krueger looks too rat-like.

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - I love bargain Tuesdays

Four Christmases (2008)

Starring: Vince Vaughn, Reese Witherspoon, Robert Duvall
Director: Seth Gordon

4 Thoughts On Four Christmases

1. First Christmas: The best one. Jon Favreau > Vince Vaughn
2. Second Christmas: Bad. Nothing about Reese Witherspoon appeals to me.
3. Third Christmas: Bad. No comment.
4. Fourth Christmas: Bad. Vince Vaughn is just getting stale, but unfortunately successful movies such as this are essential to his staying power.

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
1 point - Christmas
1 point - Christmas
1 point - Christmas
1 point - Christmas

She's The One (1996)

Starring: Edward Burns, Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz
Director: Edward Burns

2 Thoughts On She's The One

1. If Woody Allen were Catholic, this would be his movie.
2. I enjoyed it, but I also understand why Ed Burns isn't make as many semi-high profile films anymore.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Cameron Diaz was way hotter in the 90's
2 points - I kind of like Edward Burns movies.
2 points - Strong Island represent.

Death At A Funeral (2010)

Starring: Chris Rock, Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson
Director: Neil Labute

5 Thoughts On Death At A Funeral

1. A laughed, slightly.
2. *Generic Black Movie Trademark: The Crazy White Guy
3. Speaking of the crazy white guy, it seems James Marsden always outshines the roles he is given.
4. Luke Wilson's career. RIP.
5. Tracy Morgan just seems like a guy everyone should hang out with once.

Rating: 5
Rating Breakdown
5 points - drug use

Frost/Nixon (2008)

Starring: Frank Langella, Michael Sheen, Kevin Bacon
Director: Ron Howard

3 Thoughts On Frost/Nixon

1. Underwhelming movie with overwhelmingly solid performances.
2. Michael Sheen, NOT Frank Langella deserved all the accolades from this film.
3. Once you've seen one Ron Howard movie, you've seen them all.

Rating: 6
15 points - acting
-9 points - overrated overall

Date Night (2010)

Starring: Steve Carell, Tina Fey, James Franco
Director: Shawn Levy

4 Thoughts On Date Night

1. Question: What happens when a bad script happens to a great comedic actor?*
2. Answer: Date Night. (Evan Almighty would also be accepted)
3. *Tina Fey was not included in my question because nothing she has ever done has actually been good. Yes, I know she was the head writer of SNL. Have you seen SNL lately. Yes, I know she starred in Baby Mama. Steve Martin and unfortunately Amy Poehler carried that movie. Yes, I know she writes and stars in "30 Rock." 30 Rock is the least funny show on television and anyone who claims to like it is just lying to themself.
4. Dear James Franco, You are above this. Love, Mike

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
4 points - Thank you Steven

The Last Picture Show (1976)

Starring: Timothy Bottoms, Jeff Bridges, Ellen Burstyn
Director: Peter Bogdanovich

6 Thoughts On The Last Picture Show

1. Great film, but a prime example of auteurism gone wild in the 1970's.
2. To clarify: Movies in the 1960's/70's based on books are very easily distinguishable because directors are given way too much control. The Last Picture Show like many others, had no focus whatsoever.
3. The acting is top notch all around. Including a great turn by Cloris Leachman.
4. Cybill Shepherd in the 70s is just fantastic.
5. The lack of focus gave much more character depth to the film which many heavily edited adaptations today lack with their concise narratives. (I am clearly a film genius.) Blame this on the jews.
6. Mike At The Movies is in no way an anti-semitic. Many Hollywood producers are in fact jews. I am not breaking any news here.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
7 points - That's My Bush

Grumpy Old Men (1993)

Starring: Jack Lemmon, Walter Matthau, Ann-Margaret
Director: Donald Petrie

3 Thoughts On Grumpy Old Men

1. Quintessential television movie. You may not laugh that loud, but it'll keep you on your couch every Sunday afternoon.
2. Burgess Meredith steals every scene he's in.
3. Ann-Margaret; still kind of a babe.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Walther Matthau
2 points - Jack Lemmon
2 points - Burgess Meredith
1 point - I love ice fishing.

Kick-Ass (2010)

Starring: Aaron Johnson, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Chloe Grace Moretz
Director: Matthew Vaughn

5 Thoughts On Kick-Ass

1. The title says it all.
2. Hit-Girl + Excessive Violence = Kick Ass Awesome
3. This and Adaptation may be my only 2 likable Nicolas Cage performances.
4. Christopher Mintz-Plasse playes a slightly different role here, but still does a decent job.
5. Kick-Ass's girlfriend is so friggin hot.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - Kick Ass!

The Spirit (2008)

Starring: Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson
Director: Frank Miller

2 Thoughts On The Spirit

1. May 7th, Iron Man 2.
2. Thank God.

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Yuck.

Punisher: War Zone (2008)

Starring: Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Julie Benz
Director: Lexi Alexander

2 Thoughts On Punisher: War Zone

1. Comic fans appreciated the darker tone of this movie. I am not a comic fan. The Thomas Jane version was way better.
2. It was what it was.

Rating: 4
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Action
1 point - Disappointing Action

Shutter Island (2010)

Starring: Leonardo DiCaprio, Ben Kingsley, Mark Ruffalo
Director: Martin Scorsese

4 Thoughts On Shutter Island

1. Brilliantly well done film.
2. I figured out the ending within the first scene.
3. Figuring out the ending within the first scene completely ruins this film.
4. Martin Scorsese is a master of his craft, but M. Night Shyamalan he is not.
5. Still a brilliantly well done film.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
5 points - Scorsese at his best
5 points - Leo is a treat!
-3 points - Maybe I'm just too smart to watch movies.

Clash Of The Titans (2010)

Starring: Sam Worthington, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos
Director: Louis Leterrier

2 Thoughts On Clash Of The Titans

1. Grab popcorn, a soda, a date (or in my case a dude) and enjoy.
2. Fuck pretentious people.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
6 points - I hate shitting on movies that are purely made to entertain.

Hostel (2005)

Starring: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson, Jennifer Lim
Director: Eli Roth

5 Thoughts On Hostel

1. I liked this horror film. This statement was paid for by Mike At The Movies.
2. The gruesome torture for which the film is famous for does not occur until around half way through the movie. I liked that.
3. Derek Richardson was in this and Dumb and Dumberer. What a career.
4. Horror movies are always reliable for good looking women. Nothing wrong with that.
5. Jay Hernandez actually does a decent job.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
2 points - Gore!
2 points - Suspense!
2 points - Horror!

The Last Song (2010)

Starring: Miley Cyrus, Liam Hemsworth, Greg Kinnear
Director: Julie Ann Robinson

3 Thoughts On The Last Song

1. I was going to throw in spoilers, but I won't. I will spoil the overall product and say this movie is garbage.
2. My desire to lay on top of Miley Cyrus is in no way indicative of acting ability. She is garbage.
3. Why Greg Kinnear, why?

Rating: 2
Rating Breakdwon
2 points - I wish I could think of 7 complaints about The Last Song, then title this post "7 things I hate about this movie."

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010)

Starring: John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson
Director: Steve Pink

7 Thoughts On Hot Tub Time Machine

1. God bless the intricate Hollywood production system for letting the title Hot Tub Time Machine make it all the way through development.
2. Surely provides $10.50 worth of laughs.
3. Craig Robinson in anything is awesome.
4. John Cusack straying a bit from typecast and going dirty is a welcome change.
5. Crispin Glover continues to be one of the most underrated actors of all time. Ben Foster can you hear me?
6. Pretentious people need not apply. Normal people, enjoy the laughs.
7. Even though Rob Corddry tries too hard, he's still kind of funny.

Rating: 7
Rating Breakdown
3 points - The Cuse
4 points - "It must be some sort of... hot tub time machine"

Foot Fist Way (2006)

Starring: Danny McBride, Ben Best, Mary Jane Bostic
Director: Jody Hill

5 Thoughts On Foot Fist Way

1. Absurdly funny movie. Not the funniest movie ever as Will Ferrell believes, but still a damn funny movie.
2. Watch this film twice (it's only 80 minutes!). The first time you'll watch it as a movie. The second time, you'll start to truly enjoy all its nuances.
3. Danny McBride is one of those actors I don't want to admit is funny, but man, he is.
4. Jody Hill knows how to make subtle, funny movies.
5. Every "demo" was just brilliant.

Rating: 8
Rating Breakdown
8 points - laughs

Repo Men (2010)

Starring: Jude Law, Forest Whitaker, Liev Schrieber
Director: Miguel Sapochnik

4 Thoughts On Repo Men

1. Part of my "Mike gets out of the house once a week while he has a bad knee movie series." So of course I loved it.
2. Didn't Forest Whitaker win an Oscar?
3. Decent ending that rips off a famous short story by a famous author. No spoilers here.
4. Great bit part by RZA.

Rating: 6
Rating Breakdown
3 points - Jude Law leads a decently solid sci-fi action flick.
3 points - Wu Tang is for the children